More details on my health and an obligatory animated gif.

Hello folks.

I haven't given up on writing music, but I almost always am hit with strong anxiety every time I try to compose anything. Maybe I can get back to reviewing music here, though it is more difficult because of my health problems and also because me and my computer don't work well with the new feed system here. (One "infinitely long" page instead of paginated feed.) Another factor is the misophonia - a lot of music here contains sounds that make me panic and hurt.

I struggle with misophonia ("hatred of sound") and other "hypersensitivity", high anxiety, headaches, fatigue (sometimes extreme), confusion, food sensitivity, joint pain, raynauds, constant dry mouth, and constant thick and abundant mucus. My experience with doctors has been very frustrating. They all abstractly label everything as "general anxiety" or "depression" and prescribe antidepressants, or for some issues painkillers. I've read reports of antidepressants helping some people but my experience with them has been very negative. And I'm most interested in figuring out what exactly is wrong with me, but most doctors seem content with the general diagnosis.

I was recently advised to visit a Rheumatologist and consider if I have Sjogrens.

Despite all this, life hasn't been explicitly bad. I still am able to enjoy the small things, and there are a lot of small things in life to enjoy.

How are you?

Okay, now back to playing Stardew Valley, Rune Factory 4, Shikihime Garden, and Guild Wars 2. I swear I'm not addicted.

- Krichotomy / Karob

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Riveet099 2016-03-30 19:19:14

Noice, that's Seven Deadly Sins... Sorry to hear about your health. Your health problems are probably linked to depression as a trigger for symptoms and are physiological, linking mental and subconscious problems to the body, like conversion. IDK really, I'm no doctor. Chin up, you're right there are small things that are sparse stars in the dark.

Krichotomy 2016-03-30 19:19:14

I don't really feel depressed though. Just anxious and confused.

SkillSkillFiretruck 2016-04-12 01:53:15

Quit video gaming, I reckon.

Krichotomy 2016-04-12 01:53:15

:P I was joking about the addiction. Video games are something that I usually can do even when I'm too overwhelmed with frustration or anxiety to do other things.

SkillSkillFiretruck 2016-04-12 01:57:50

Have music jams with locals. For me I found a website of my city Perth called 'Perthbands.com'
I found people in my suburb. Also people I know from school. Music jams are fun, learn a lot. THe process of starting the jam it self is unique, but everyone's heaps open about it.

Also drawing meet ups if possible, this one is harder to do. A secret/private facebook group will do it but you need to know people in the first place. Find a bubble tea place in a central location. Activities include drawing collabs. each person draws a quadrant/fraction of the paper or a character, pass around the paper, etc.

Krichotomy 2016-04-12 01:57:50 (Updated 2016-04-12 17:03:38)

I used to be able to enjoy music jams but it has become a source of anxiety. Drawing has been a very strong source of anxiety. Makes me feel like I'm suffocating. I'm a very creative individual, but all my creative outlets have become sources of anxiety. I hate it, but I have no idea what to do about it. I'm tellin' ya, something is wrong with my mind, and the "usual fixes" don't work.

Thanks for the attention and advice, though. :)