TheNGVirus 2015-07-21 18:07:10

I'm not being some kind of troll here. I'm dead serious

I recommend weed. It calms you down and makes the world a tiny bit better.
It's not the best solution to your problems, but it sure as hell takes care of mine.

Please don't take this Idea the wrong way

I love you,
MissVirus

AbsurdTyler 2015-07-21 18:49:12

Some of your art is very peaceful. My favorite was the "Derpy Grinch". :D I loved your starfield track, good taste in music! Keep it up! :) I'll definitely will visit your page more often! If you want to sometime you can check out my comedy art.

LucidShadowDreamer 2015-07-21 18:58:49

I'm sorry to hear that things are seeming so bad at the moment. Of course, I already knew that you were suffering from some "medical conditions".
Naturally, I already suspected depression of some kind, or something similar in the very least, and you might even have mentioned it at some point. You may even have some less common psychological issue (like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, for instance), but the approach one ought to take is usually similar nonetheless.

You have probably already visited a psychologist, if not several. But in many cases, you need to search until you find the right one for you. Hopefully, it's affordable in your country/state.
Friends can be important too, but when it comes to things like this, you will want someone professional, who has dedicated huge portions of their lives to study problems similar to yours, and that know how to deal with them. Most psychologists want to help, as that is the path they have chosen. The good ones will also understand you, all the while knowing what you should do to improve your condition(s).

Do you have some physical health issues as well (apart from the headaches)? Because those will often only make things worse, especially if combined with depression. Medicine will work for some people and some conditions, but not for all. Often, they are meant to be a temprorary solution, while you are guided towards improving on your own. However, if you do suffer from psychosis (possibly related to schizophrenia), medicine is sometimes necessary. It can be even tougher if you do have some kind of psychological disorder, combined with depression.
I don't want to label you, but I don't have a clear understanding of your situation, so I want to tackle at least a few of the angles. Of course, I am just some random dude on the internet. But I do think that there are ways for you as well to be capable and happy, no matter what you're currently suffering from.

No matter what your problems are, giving up hope is not the solution. Maybe you're just in an especially bad mood today, or maybe the post is based on recurring thoughts. Either way, you will feel better with a solution to your problems, and becoming involved in an endless loop of a lack of motivation, which leads to less results, which leads to even more of your motivation diminishing, will bring you no happiness. Of course, you can't simply "think away" such issues, as psychological diseases are no less real than physical ones. But I wish that you'd try to maintain the effort to move forward. There are others with the same problems as you too.

That's pretty much all that I can say with the very limited amount of information that I have. But know that if you need someone to talk to, about anything, don't hesitate to PM me.

I wish you the best of luck.

UnchainedCarter 2015-07-22 23:38:45

I cant say i know exactly how you feel,i dont have any sort of physical condition,i can do what i like most of the time.I just wish i had enthusiasm to do things i love.As i read your words,i feel as they were torn from my own bosom.I wish i was the only ´´broken´´ person around,but now i see how this reality is farther from me than i ever thought.
I feel sorry for you as i sometimes do for myself,if i can choose,i wish to hear good news.

UnchainedCarter 2015-08-01 00:55:37

Sad but true,sad but true.I feel your pain,else i woudnt be replying,unfortunately theres so little i can do...

LucidShadowDreamer 2015-08-02 16:06:24

I feel that you explained things satisfactorily enough, for sure. You of course don't need to feel obligated to tell more than you want to, which I'm sure you didn't.

I don't know the specifics of your situation still, but I don't need to. Antidepressants especially, don't work for everybody. Antipsychotics though, are something you probably ought to keep taking if your condition requires it. As I mentioned, it's important to find the doctor that is right for you, and I hope that you managed to find one, as you suspected you may have done.
While the fact that the psychiatrists etc. tend to focus more on the depression may definitely not be the right move for your specific situation, I think I know why they focus on that. Well, to begin with, they're just humans as well. But also, it's probably because they know that out of all the even somewhat common mental diseases, it's the most deadly, by far. But depression can come in different kinds, and in your situation (based solely on what you've said though), it would seem that your depression may be heavily influenced by outer factors. In such cases, it's probably more important to focus on those outer factors to begin with. In the end, I think it's definitely you that should take the lead when it comes to what you want.
That said, I wouldn't turn a blind eye to what the doctors and such are saying either. I agree that they shouldn't just automatically decide to give you medicines and leave it at that. But based on what you've said, I don't think depression is just a small side issue. It simply may not be the first one you ought to resolve. But anyone who suffers fatigue to a great extent, and seek for bliss in death, as a form of suffer ending, are usually pretty heavily depressed, be it for whatever reason. Even if there are material reasons, it's the depression talking. But I am not here to dig into that situation. It's your business, and you get to deal with it how you feel is best for you. I will say one thing more (long) though, which is related to the quote you mentioned.

"I'm tired now. I don't want to see anything anymore."

While I do understand on some level why that quote would speak to you (not from personal experience, but from far too many second hand experiences), I don't agree with it. I undertand that there's some relief in the fact that all problems will end in death eventually. But as long as there may be another way, I don't see the reason to give up. We will all die one day anyway. There's no reason to rush it if one doesn't know all that is ahead (That said, I do support euthanasia in certain cases, if it is well controlled). You say that you suck at knowing when you should give up. There's something incredibly human about that, and it's a trait that I admire far more than the willingness to give up. Even if you are hit down constantly, it's the fact that you keep getting up that makes you strong. Far from everyone could do that. I am a very cynical person in general. I don't mean that I lack empathy, far from it. I empathise a lot with most anyone. But I view humankind as inherently pretty stupid (myself included). I see so much hate, war, sickness and despair every day, be it in the news, a relative that dies, some hateful people on the streets or some politician setting his aim only at getting more money and power. But despite all that, I see people that keep getting up, keep trying to make a change for the better, even if it may seem totally hopeless. But it has been shown time and time again through analysis of history that eventaully, many of the seemingly hopeless situations will resolve themself, or at the very least evolve into something different, because people kept trying. To me, there's way more beauty in that. We humans may be parasites to the world, but we might as well be the most difficult to get down and stay down parasites there ever were. Because we care, about ourselves, and about eachother.

Sorry for the weird rant. Point being is, I hope that despite failing, and hurting, you will keep on trying, for the sake of you, and for the sake of the people that care about you. I'm sure you want things to get well or at least better, by any reasonable means. Even though it naturally isn't easy. Not trying to give some weird kind of moral lecture here, just trying to share my point of view, if it means anything to you. I really wish you the best of luck in life, and that some new doctor will understand your situation, and do their best to help you in a way that works for you, both physically and mentally. If there is a separate issue causing the difficulty in thinking, maybe that would be something worth trying to find (duh).

Thanks for replying to my previous comment, and thanks for reading. I hope you've had a fairly good day ;)

Aisnon-A 2015-08-06 17:32:23

For all the things you've done wrong, there is none to count. For all the things you've done correct, abounds plenty --- but for one, seizing your unalienable right to health.

There's also this gem:

"At least I can still smile. I can still enjoy some of the beautiful things in life."

It's the good sort of self-medication. Joy means possibility: I don't know if this means much coming from an what could be an essentially inconsequential entity to you, but if I can make something 'beautiful' for you to enjoy, even if for a little, then I'm stepping up to plate.

Until then, keep searching for that right doctor. Even with all the rigorous qualifications behind that Ph.D/M.D., medical practitioners will never know the health of the 'self' more than the patient, needless to say.