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"Sunglasses?! Really?! Take your job seriously!"
I am a creature of the dark. I need to protect my sensitive eyes.
"You don't have eyes!! And what is this you're calling yourself nowadays– the 'Grim Reaper'? What, are you going through middle schooler syndrome* or something?"
Hey, my people chose that name for me.
"They are your VIC-TIMS. STOP. SLACKING. OFF. I don't know how many times I've told you, Death. You know this well, I'm sure. The age of man is to steadily decline. When no man is over 62 years of age, their reign will come to an end, and the age of the beaver will begin."
I thought it was eggplants.
"Eggplants are plants, dumbass! Mankind has been on the rise, with their lifespan slowly returning to the triple digits. You're not doing your job."
I can't help it. Their medical technology is amazing!
"There is a reason you wield the scythe of ill fortune, which no device of mankind can hope to defy. What are you doing? Strangling them with your bare hands? Of course that wouldn't work. Where is your scythe now, anyway?"
"Don't tell me..."
I lost it.
"I would FIRE YOU if you weren't the ONLY ENTITY IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE that can fill this role. DO YOU REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS?"
What's so bad about living longer? I mean, we're immortal, after all. And I don't understand why mankind has to be replaced with eggplants.
"Beavers. To be honest, I don't understand it either, but those were the commands given to us. As immortals, it is our responsibility to see it through. How in the seven dimensions did you lose your scythe anyway?"
Well, I was playing hide-and-seek, and there was this one nasty kid–
"You were playing with CHILDREN???!!!!!!!! Your name is DEATH. D. E. T– WHATEVER. You are the plauge of the earth, the scourge of mankind, and the final mercy who knows no mercy."
...now who's got middle schooler syndrome*?
"*sigh* Look– here. Your soup is ready. Drink it before it gets cold. I'm going to go sweep the leaves off the porch. In the mean time, I want you to think long and hard about your role here in the mortal realm."
(Along with the seasons, Death's personality would change. In Autumn (of the northern hemisphere), he would always grow soft and interact cordially with mortals. It is for this reason that we celebrate darkness and death around Halloween, rather than fearing them as we do for the rest of the year.)
* Middle schooler syndrome note:
Roughly translated as "Middle School 2nd Year Syndrome", the Japanese term "Chuunibyou" (中二病) refers to a phenomenon in which individuals (not necessarily from the implied age group) consider themselves to have special powers, leading to grandiose delusional behavior.
I haven't given up on writing music, but I almost always am hit with strong anxiety every time I try to compose anything. Maybe I can get back to reviewing music here, though it is more difficult because of my health problems and also because me and my computer don't work well with the new feed system here. (One "infinitely long" page instead of paginated feed.) Another factor is the misophonia - a lot of music here contains sounds that make me panic and hurt.
I struggle with misophonia ("hatred of sound") and other "hypersensitivity", high anxiety, headaches, fatigue (sometimes extreme), confusion, food sensitivity, joint pain, raynauds, constant dry mouth, and constant thick and abundant mucus. My experience with doctors has been very frustrating. They all abstractly label everything as "general anxiety" or "depression" and prescribe antidepressants, or for some issues painkillers. I've read reports of antidepressants helping some people but my experience with them has been very negative. And I'm most interested in figuring out what exactly is wrong with me, but most doctors seem content with the general diagnosis.
I was recently advised to visit a Rheumatologist and consider if I have Sjogrens.
Despite all this, life hasn't been explicitly bad. I still am able to enjoy the small things, and there are a lot of small things in life to enjoy.
How are you?
Okay, now back to playing Stardew Valley, Rune Factory 4, Shikihime Garden, and Guild Wars 2. I swear I'm not addicted.
- Krichotomy / Karob
i don't like the cold.
it bites my fingers, nibbles my toes
[an exciting pinch and a cute red nose]
it turns life-giving water to sharp, slippery ice
[an occasion for new adventure, a little spice for this life]
the birds fly south, fall's colors fade
[the mosquitoes go away, the bear to his cave]
i remember hard long days working in freezing weather
[and happy long nights of fun and fellowship together]
we build a fire so we don't freeze
[and share stories and songs over spice tea]
the bonfire burns while the cold freezes me
[like hot chocolate and real snow cones - a delightful dichotomy!]
how i dream for spring so this snow will melt
[but without the cold, is warm truly felt?]
the ice cold heart of this world weighs on my face
[but love glows warm and draws me into its embrace]
[i like the cold]
I wanted to be able to say, "I'm glad I was born."
I wanted to laugh, saying, "The sun and wind feel so nice."
That– was all I ever wanted.
But now I don't want to see anything.
I'm tired now.
I don't want to see anything anymore.
- Shining Hearts: Shiawase no Pan
In 2013, psychological problems (and situational migraine headaches) that had been growing finally overcame me, and I was forced to quit work and school. I still continued my hobbies, but, when I started trying medications, I started having issues with excessive exhaustion and feeling suffocated all the time, as well as my joint problems getting worse. In late 2014, I essentially gave up composing music and most everything else dear to me because it had all become too damn painful.
It doesn't make sense.
The doctor insisted on higher doses of increasingly dangerous medications. But I grew tired of feeling especially horrible while taking antidepressants and antipsychotics. Each one was a terrible experience. Now I'm looking for another solution. I want a doctor that will actually try to figure out what is wrong with me.
In the mean time, I am dead, broken. My wings have been clipped. Or torn off, rather. I may never fly again- I have to be prepared for that. At least I can still smile. I can still enjoy some of the beautiful things in life.
Eventually my financial savings will run out. What will I do then? I don't know. Does it matter?
I'm tired now. I don't want to see anything anymore.
This makes far too much sense. Now, back into my shell.
For once, Facebook randomly recommended something I actually wanted to see. This music is making me all emotional. :3
@SilverPoyozo, @steelside, @Aleksandr12, @8-bitheroes,
@basheman, @Merryberry, @IglicaV, @Fubaka,
@ShinsukeIto, @LunyAlex, @Seprix, @Cerzak,
@Azhthar, @plasma3music, @xIIInon, @DreamForecast,
These musicians make music that is way cooler than your pet hamster will ever be. But somehow they each have less than 100 fans. Even though your hamster has, like, a gazillion fans, but only as much talent as the 14 year old hamburger that mold won't even grow on.
So I present some sample tracks, to lure you into following them. (I tried to create a playlist, but it kept saying something like "Playist not found, playlist doesn't exist".)
(ordered according to the net charge of valence electrons)
And don't you go hatin' on me if they actually have 100 or more fans. Your hamster is wrong sometimes too.
EDIT: Is it possible to embed the NG audio player in a news post? I know you can embed it in forum posts.
People talk about having your head in the clouds as a bad thing. They don't realize just how breathtaking the view is.
Somehow my composition "Starfield" made it to the "Popular Audio" section. In six days it's received 1,707 plays and 437 downloads. Is that an accurate gauge of attention, or should I rely more on the votes and reviews? The composition has only received eight votes (averaging a score of two stars) and one review.
Also interesting is that four of the eight top "Popular Audio" right now are compositions with "star" in the name:
- "Starbound", a dubstep track by RetromanOMG.
- "Dance of The Stars", a dubstep track by Hyperion666.
- "Starfield", a track by Krichotomy.
- "-Starfall-", a drum and bass track by Waterflame.
These ads are sooo annoying. It almost feels like they were made to annoy, not made to advertise. I'm certainly not going to click something so asinine and revulsive.